Confessions of a secret pirate.
Before I begin I should explain that when I’m not running for BVH, I rather like to don ill fitting lycra and enter triathlons under the guise of a PIRATE this is a group of strange like minded fellows who share a fetish for all things that are skull and cross bones. YESTERDAY was my first outing with them.
At the beginning of this year I made a very bold mission statement.
1 – I would complete an ironman in under 14:39hr
2 – I would run 2 marathons in 14 days and 1 of them would be sub 4hr.
3 – I would finish the year with a sub 6:15hr half ironman.
Not many people paid any attention. They just did what most people do they looked me up and down and dismissed me as another fat crazy loud mouth.
So at the end of august having completed numbers 1 and 2, I was feeling very smug.
During the year I had gleened much knowledge from a new found TRIATHLON GURU known only as HAILE, a mystical figure that can only be found in the hills and peaks around Sheffield. The main advice I was given by this tri- God was;-
“Long distance triathlons are all about mind set, So much so that it is actually cheating if you train”. With this in mind I found my self driving off at 3am on Saturday to compete in the VITRUVIAN, having not done any real training since ‘the longest day’ back in July.
As I am driving along the dark roads I start to think I’m going mad. Surely that writing on the road did not say ‘GO PIRATES’.
Having found the start and like so many others unpacked and got changed in total darkness I walk down to register. Its here that I find a very angry lady shouting in to a phone “WHAT THEY HAVE PAINTED ALL OVER THE ROAD. IT WAS PIRATES WAS IT, WAIT TILL THEY GET HERE” it was at this point that I zipped up my jacket to cover the skull and cross bones on my vest.
Swim
2 laps in what I must say was very nice warm water. I still get that giddy “I’m going to fall over feeling after I get out of the water”, and you just know the spectator know it and are waiting for someone to go over. The swim is always hard and slow but I just keep thinking this is the only work the arms have to do all day” so soon the swim was over and I was into T1.
Bike
As I exit T1 something happened that was to set the theme for the whole day people started shouting “GO PIRATE” followed by a turn to their friend and “who is that I don’t recognise him”. I am starting to love the bike the ripples I had heard so much about were fantastic and hard work and for the first time ever I felt comfortable in the tri-bars. Before I knew it I was on to the second lap and I could confirm someone on the forum is a worse speller than me. As I came in to T2 even more people shouting “GO PIRATE and “WHO IS IT”.
Run
“I can run” I tell myself “I can’t swim and I can just about stay on my bike” but “I CAN RUN” I tell myself this ever triathlon I do well guess what. NO I CAN’T not today I can’t. So I break in to my trusty run for the count of 50 walk for the count of 50. It never fails to loosen the legs. 10 minutes later and it seems to have worked again and I’m slowly but surely plodding along. then just as I feel good and am thinking of the last lap my left calf starts to tighten up, I should stretch it walk back and accept my DNF, or I could just run a little bit more and see how I go. so you guessed it I carry on running and its not till I’m coming back across the damn for the last time that something bad happens I look at my watch, (never look at your watch) and I realise I could, if I push it a little harder get my a pb. So I push harder and my calf goes “TWANG” and I have to walk/run the rest of the way. Well that is till the crowds start to grow and I start hearing “GO PIRATE” funny how the pain goes away for that last 800m. So its into the finish for a time of 06:02:05
So firstly thanks for all the pirate support (even thou no-one knew who I was)
And secondly “NEVER EVER LISTEN TO HAILE” train train and then train some more.
So what about next year? I here you ask. Well!! I have a question to you
Anyone wanna come along for the ride? I have BIG plans!!!!
Mark L
